COME LEARN HOKKIEN =)

I get this from a email when I'm searching for the true meaning of 'tu lan'. It's worth to share with you people.
Sometimes,non-hokkien people attempt to use hokkien to increase their level of 'cool-ness' when they attempt to swear. But more often than not, they fail because they do not know how to put the word into a proper sentence, OR, it doesn't sound the same when u use it in another language/dialect apart from hokkien. Just like what the Americans did to the original King's English.

' kan keh'
direct translation - 'fuck chicken'.
actual meaning - referring to someone who's cynical and selfish, not willing to take even the slightest risk of anything.
eg: 'Leh ma ler ! Ah Seng kau giak kan keh ah ..' [translation: 'Your mother ! Ah Seng is damn timid !']

'kiong kan '
direct translation - it actually was a short form for 'ki ho lang kan ', which means, 'go get yourself fucked by someone'.
actual meaning - an exclamation that was used to vehemently protest against any disagreement or illogical statements.
eg: 'Kiong kan lah ! lu sio kong lim peh be hiau si boh ??' [translation : 'Kiong kan lah ! You think you can fool me ??']

'bak moy'
direct translation - 'pork porridge'
actual meaning - to undergo the complete and permanent cessation of all vital functions; i.e. die
eg: 'Eh ! Lu lang cai boh ? Ray Charles bak moy liao !' [translation : 'Eh ! Did you guys know ? That Ray Charles is dead !']

'loo siao'
direct translation - 'rub sperm'
actual meaning - to riot, to rebel, mak e trouble or go ballistic. Can be used as adjective, verb or noun.
eg: 'That char bor, si peh loo siao, tiam tiam chueh soo …' [translation : 'That woman, damn rebellious, always look for trouble..']

'char siao'
direct translation - 'fried sperm'
actual meaning - to disturb or to vex someone
eg: 'Mai char siao lah !' [translation : 'Don't disturb me !']

'kuai lan'
direct translation - 'suave dick'
actual meaning - adjective to describe a very cheeky or obnoxious person.
eg: 'That si ginna si peh kuai lan.' [translation : 'That kid is damn obnoxious.'] 'apong sin' direct translation - 'pancake spirit' (pancake is also the secondary meaning for vagina)
actual meaning - a person who's fawning over any females and willing to do anything for them. eg: 'Ah Piang kau giak apong sin. Peng eu kio chut, boh eng. Char bor kio chut, eh poey…' [translation : 'Ah Piang damn 'pancake spirit'. When his friends ask him out, always busy. But when girls ask him out, he'll literally fly out']

'ciu cheng'
direct translation - 'hand gun'
actual meaning - an adjective to describe someone that is unskillfully clumsy, delinquent and fucked up. eg: 'Si tua pui, kau giak ciu cheng. Chia pun beh hiau park.' [translation : 'That fat ass damn fucked up. Don't even know how to park a car']

'tu lan' (also known as T.L.)
direct translation - 'pig's dick'
real meaning - hatefully dislike or angry; pissed.
eg: 'Kua tiok ee eh bin … pun tu lan.' [translation : 'It pissed me off even by just a glance of his face.']

'kam lan'
direct translation - 'to fellate'
real meaning - an expression added into questions - to denote something ridiculous or defies logical understanding.
eg: 'Lu choaa lu eh bor chut lai kam lan aa ??' [translation : 'Why the hell do you bring along your wife ??']

'loh tee'
direct translation - 'bread' (derived from the malay word 'roti')
real meaning - an adjective to describe a very slutty, chintzy and promiscuous female being. Highly derogatory.
eg: 'Ah Piang eh chat loh si peh loh tee. Goh lui chap pek tau' [translation : 'Ah Piang's girl is a goddamn slut. Five cents for eighteen times']